F is for Fuck it

G is for God make it stop

H is for when the Hell will this be over?

Early in the shelter at home phase I had two homes and was busily packing up one and moving to the other.  I went out and was very busy every day, though I was “home” most of the time (our two places were ten minutes apart).  Now we are fully in the new place, and sure, I could unpack more, but I’m exhausted, and I’m back at work having multiple Zoom meetings a day, prepping for online instruction, responding to students, and realizing I have jowels and a much looser neck than I ever noticed before.  Sure, I could spend time on better lighting or wear turtlenecks, but I can’t be bothered.  I don’t love looking at myself talk, but whatever.

Pandemic times are getting real, so fuck it.  I’ve had a hard few days.

G is for fucking Gratitude also.

Glad I have a dog that needs a walk every day.

Glad I found a cool dingy little park on the site of a canal built in 1795.  Canal Park, South Hadley.

Glad it’s spring though it’s fucking cold.

Glad my parents don’t have to see the shitshow our country has become, though I would also love to hear my mother’s insights.  She would be able to take an intellectual interest in it all and give me a lens I hadn’t thought of to see it through.

Glad for Zoom even though it’s driving home how old I look/am.

Glad my family is not sick.

Glad I do not have small children.  Props to all who are coping with this.

Glad my grandniece and grandnephew have such fabulous parents to stay home with them and glad I get photo and video updates on the regular.

Glad for social media and feeling connected virtually.

Glad for cursing.  It helps.