Cheek faintly sweaty
against my neck
top of head fitting under my chin
just so
heat rising from the feathery hair
Drifting to sleep
body against body
softness melting into softness
boundaries blurred
The mind tries to work
plan. Won’t
rub up against bliss
till sleep takes over
Even under the fatigue
there is a deliciousness
that body melding into mine
sticky but
my sticky
I could detach myself from her
do some chore but I
let sleep be the most pressing chore
let motherhood be
I never thought I’d be
so much a mother
but it fit when she arrived
I didn’t fight it
It isn’t me
all of me
it is everything
and nothing at all
It just is
Awake, she toddles over to
another reaching relative
the center of everyone’s vision
I loll on the couch
let her be scooped up
let my eyes close to her
let sleep come to me alone
Till her hand pats my face again
a stern but gentle awakening
a drawing of attention
back where it belongs
She will not be a baby forever
I gaze at her, take the sticky hand
soft and unformed
put it to my lips
put the fingers back to her lips
teach her to kiss
She imitates and slaps her sticky hand
on my mouth
I must sit up
be awake
be a mother
She will not be this baby much longer
I might miss it for sleepiness
but never real sleep
she sees to that